Hunting Sense

Another post by the wife

Right off the bat I’m going to point out that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an American, but I’m embarrassed for Cliff, as an American, when I see wingnuts like Dan Simpson spouting their verbal diarrhaea to the masses. Let’s take his ideas point by point (it’s easier to swallow drivel that way).

Now, how would one disarm the American population? First of all, federal or state laws would need to make it a crime punishable by a $1,000 fine and one year in prison per weapon to possess a firearm. The population would then be given three months to turn in their guns, without penalty.

3 months, eh? (note Canadian lingo). How generous. For the sake of extreme generosity, let’s say there are only 1 million of the suckers floating around between Canada and Mexico. That would mean 11,111 firearms would need to be turned in each day all across the country. Anyone see any red tape/logistic problems there? From what I understand, a trip to the DMV would be a vacation compared to a trip to turn in your guns. FYI, there are an estimated 193-250 million firearms in the good ole US of A. Crunch those numbers.

Hunters would be able to deposit their hunting weapons in a centrally located arsenal, heavily guarded, from which they would be able to withdraw them each hunting season upon presentation of a valid hunting license. The weapons would be required to be redeposited at the end of the season on pain of arrest. When hunters submit a request for their weapons, federal, state, and local checks would be made to establish that they had not been convicted of a violent crime since the last time they withdrew their weapons.

Yes! Let’s give the Terrorist-Mongers another thing to bitch about! By all means, let’s put all the weapons in big buildings, all across the country. While we’re at it, let’s put big, blinking neon signs on top of them, too.

In the process, arsenal staff would take at least a quick look at each hunter to try to affirm that he was not obviously unhinged.

Like Simpson?
A quick look? Please! I’ve known several people, hell, I’m related to some, who, on first glance, look a little scary, but who are, in fact, the gentlest people I’ve ever known. By contrast, some of the most notorious sociopaths have been well groomed, well mannered, most educated, most charismatic people. You couldn’t pick them out of a line up if your soul depended on it. They depend on it. It can take psychologists years to crack them, but poorly trained ‘guards’ are supposed to pick them out by a “quick look”? Can you say, “FLAWED”?

It would have to be the case that the term “hunting weapon” did not include anti-tank ordnance, assault weapons, rocket-propelled grenade launchers, or other weapons of war.

Rocket-propelled grenade launchers? No seriously, did he just put that in there? Someone want to take a “quick look” at this guy to make sure he’s running on all cylinders?

All antique or interesting non-hunting weapons would be required to be delivered to a local or regional museum, also to be under strict 24-hour-a-day guard. There they would be on display, if the owner desired, as part of an interesting exhibit of antique American weapons, as family heirlooms from proud wars past or as part of collections.

So, now you’re paying for the building of arsenals, guards to man them, ‘museums’ and ‘strict 24 hour a day’ protection. I can say with a relative amount of certainty that Simpson hasn’t offered to foot these bills himself, so it’d fall to the people to pick up the tab. I’d say this is one area hunters and anti-gun activists could agree on—no one wants more money taken out of their pockets! I wonder, would those ‘proud family heirloom’ owners be paid for sharing their history?

Gun dealers could continue their work, selling hunting and antique firearms. They would be required to maintain very tight inventories. Any gun sold would be delivered immediately by the dealer to the nearest arsenal or the museum, not to the buyer.

Magnanimous, ain’t he? Now he wants big arsenals AND several vehicles roaming the US carrying multitudes of weapons. Nope, no risks of any of these vehicles being big scores by ‘bad guys’. How silly–all the ‘bad guys’ will have turned in their weapons in that three month amnesty! Right?

The disarmament process would begin after the initial three-month amnesty. Special squads of police would be formed and trained to carry out the work. Then, on a random basis to permit no advance warning, city blocks and stretches of suburban and rural areas would be cordoned off and searches carried out in every business, dwelling, and empty building. All firearms would be seized. The owners of weapons found in the searches would be prosecuted: $1,000 and one year in prison for each firearm.

Oops! Add in ‘Storm-troopers’ to that tab I mentioned earlier. Let’s see if I’ve grasped this. Elite squads of ‘special’ police would randomly enter your home for weapons searches. Is this ringing any bells? The Sudan? Israel? Afghanistan? South Asia? Nigeria?

“We become what we fear most.”

Clearly, since such sweeps could not take place all across the country at the same time. But fairly quickly there would begin to be gun-swept, gun-free areas where there should be no firearms. If there were, those carrying them would be subject to quick confiscation and prosecution. On the streets it would be a question of stop-and-search of anyone, even grandma with her walker, with the same penalties for “carrying.”

Oh, CLEARLY! I mean, no one would think of hiding weapons anywhere but in their homes. And of course none could possibly be missed. Nope, that’s craziness talking. Duh!

Grandma with her walker? Dude. New word for you to look up. Asshole. That’s really nice. Lock up grandma with hardcore criminals. That’ll win ya friends, jerk-off.

The “gun lobby” would no doubt try to head off in the courts the new laws and the actions to implement them.

No doubt. So would the Human Rights Commission.

They might succeed in doing so, although the new approach would undoubtedly prompt new, vigorous debate on the subject. In any case, some jurisdictions would undoubtedly take the opportunity of the chronic slowness of the courts to begin implementing the new approach.

And they’d be guilty of taking away the rights afforded to citizens, too. Is Mr. Simpson advocating such action?

America’s long land and sea borders present another kind of problem. It is easy to imagine mega-gun dealerships installing themselves in Mexico, and perhaps in more remote parts of the Canadian border area, to funnel guns into the United States. That would constitute a problem for American immigration authorities and the U.S. Coast Guard, but not an insurmountable one over time.

Do not, under any circumstances, drag other countries into your dinkiness, Mr. Simpson. You create your monster, you live with it. Both countries mentioned have stricter gun laws than the US. I’ll take this opportunity to note how he mentions the difficulties to US authorities, but doesn’t even acknowledge the fact that, using his ’solution’ also imposes homeland problems on everyone else. How neighbourly.

There could conceivably also be a rash of score-settling during hunting season as people drew out their weapons, ostensibly to shoot squirrels and deer, and began eliminating various of their perceived two-footed enemies. Given the general nature of hunting weapons and the fact that such killings are frequently time-sensitive, that seems a lesser sort of issue.

Conceivably? Y’think? Frequently time sensitive? Fact? Yeah, it’s not like no one has been known to carry a grudge. And just for the sake of argument, ever considered the possibility of a ‘weapon of opportunity’? Humans are resourceful critters. Take away their guns, they use a bow. Take away their bows, they’ll use a knife. Take away their knife, they’ll use a sharpened stick. Remove the sharpened stick, they’ll use a shoe-lace. Any of this logic sinking in, Mr. Simpson?

Alright, I’ve ranted enough. Thankfully, there are too many holes in this crap for it to be put into practice anytime in the near future (although, stranger things have been known to happen).

I’ll now return you to your regular blogger.

Best wishes,
The Wife

Cliff’s own post on this subject can be found here.

hunting, gun rights, Second Amendment, Dan Simpson, weapons, America, freedoms, Constitution, radicals, extremists