Hunting Sense

Have you ever been rabbit kicked by a giant bunny with an attitude? Well, let me tell ya, it isn’t fun by any means. It’s kind of like getting a buzz cut with a lawnmower, which, by the way, isn’t recommended either.

The alarm went off at four this morning, and I rolled out of bed happy with what I had accomplished yesterday to salvage my planned ambush of the Easter Bunny. After a hot cup of coffee, I slid into my winter camouflage and gathered my arsenal of equipment that looked like it had been ordered from an Acme catalog. I have to admit, I did feel rather wiley as I silently made my way out the door.

I began crossing the back yard toward the elaborate Eskimo igloo I convinced the kids would be fun to build. Having kids make carrying out elaborate plans so much simpler. As I passed the snow bunny decoy I tricked them into building, I had to admire their work. Even in the dim light, it really did look like a giant bunny standing there, they had even made it look like it had fur.

I was confident I’d get my pictures of the wascally rabbit this year as I continued to my igloo hideout. That’s when it happened. I felt a tremendous shove from behind and the next thing I knew I was eating a faceful of snow. As I struggled with all my gear to get onto my back, I caught a glimpse of the snow bunny coming toward me. A grin spread across his lips and even the cute twitching nose couldn’t hide the evil of it.

He lunged at me as I tried to raise my camera with it’s special infra-red lens to capture my picture. I’ll never forget the fear of having cadberry eggs shoved down my throat. Struggling with the nasty candy yokes, I finally managed to get the best of the carrot loving beast and rolled him onto his back, pinning him and struggling with my camera once again.

I’d always heard rabbit feet were lucky, but when he started rabbit kicking me with them, I had serious doubts about that superstition. Holding on for all I was worth, I felt my teeth rattle as my body flopped like a rag doll as he kicked me over and over. Damn, their feet are fast.

I don’t know what happened next. The next thing I remember is opening my eyes and finding myself against the wall of the house. Trying to clear my head I felt a pain in my ribs and I remembered what my mission was. I quickly scanned the yard for Peter ‘The Jackhammer’ Cottontail.

The snow bunny was gone. Maybe the kids weren’t quite as talented as I thought. Then I noticed a scattering of colored eggs across the yard heading toward the woods. All I caught was a streak of white disappearing down the bunny trail.

hunting, humor, Easter, Easter Rabbit, Peter Cottontail