12 ‘Honey-Don’ts’ For the Hunter – From the Wife.
A few tips for you hunters out there. Memorize them!
12. Do not love us up after a hunting trip until you’ve showered! – Seriously, you stink, and no, it doesn’t smell all ‘manly’.
11. Do your own damned laundry! – if your hunting pants stand up on their own, I ain’t touching them.
10. Handing us a bloody hunk of deer meat is NOT the same as bringing us flowers no matter how much you think it is.
9. The guys at camp don’t care if you belch and publicly scratch intimate parts. I do.
8. Our neighbours have NOT been anxiously waiting to see your kill, and it’s not considered neighbourly to butcher it on the front lawn.
7. Do not try to convince me deer-leg lamps or antler chandeliers are ‘chic’.
6. I do not want a deer head in the bedroom watching me sleep.
5. “Fred Bear” is NOT ‘our song’.
4. No, you can not do a full body mount and use it as your ‘Rudolph’ at Christmas.
3. Never use the line, “Baby, I’m in full rut!” and think it’s gonna get you some.
2. Dress clothes do NOT include camouflage in any form.
And the Number One thing you shouldn’t do…
1. Do not compare the deer’s rack with mine. Ever.
Yours,
the wife
Hunting, Deer, Camp, Fred Bear, Antlers, Tips, camouflage, Humour, Wife
May 9th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I’ve got to agree with those tips.
May 9th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
I’m sure while we are out hunting all of our wives are clicking on the “Hunter’s Wives” blog and sharing all of this info!
May 9th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
What the hell am I supposed to do for Mothers’ Day now?
May 11th, 2007 at 12:27 am
Now that right there is funny. Thanks to you I know now why my wife goes shopping just before I come home from a hunting trip.
-Othmar Vohringer-